Modesty is Everything!!!

Today is finally sat down and decided to read the book, "Dressing for the Lord". I am still reading through it, but after only 40 pages of it, I have made the decision to quit wearing pants. I have never really had a problem with wearing things that cover up your body in the sense that the flesh was covered, but pants have been an issue.
I didn't wear pants until the sophomore year of high school. Going to a public school was hard because of that reason. My sister and I wore culottes to school. Then when my parents thought we were old enough to make the decision on our own, we both wanted to wear them. My sister only lasted 2 weeks before she was convicted about it. But I kept wearing them.
I have been telling myself that Ill quit wearing pants as soon as I get some more clothes. But that's no excuse. In the book, it says to ask 5 questions about what you are wearing.
1. IS IT WORN BY THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Well I have always said..." If we cant wear pants, we cant wear, a belt, or hats, or shoes because men also wear those". But those things have nothing to do with the sex of the person and the body of the person. And if someone saw me from far away, could they tell that I was a woman? Most likely no. They would have to look at other parts of my body to find out if I was a woman or not. So why would I want that?
2.WHAT DOES IT MAKE OTHERS THINK OF ME?
You can tell alot about a person by what they are wearing. You communicate through your clothes. Our pastor on a Sunday morning in his suit and tie looks like a pastor. But at home in his jeans and sweater, he looks like a dad. Same thing with women. People assume that if you are wearing a long skirt you are religious. But if you are wearing something that makes you look easy, then they think you are easy.
3.WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DRESS THAT WAY?
4.MUST I USE THE ARGUMENTS OF THE WORLD TO JUSTIFY IT?
This is the one that really got me. I always had some excuse for why I could wear pants. They were form fitting, they were pink, guys wouldn't wear these,etc. But that's exactly what every other person would say. Right there I made my decision.
5. WOULD I CAUSE OTHER PEOPLE TO STUMBLE?
The fact that I might cause a good Godly man to lust after me all because of what I was wearing really bothers me. How would I feel if that was my husband? I wouldn't like it at all!
Well that's as far in the book as I have gotten. I cant wait to read the rest of it. I don't have very many clothes that are modest and that has been an excuse for a long time. But I know that God will be proud of me for making this decision and that he will provide the clothes for me because of it.:)

God is Good

Isnt God good?! Just when you think that there is no solution to a problem, he gives you one. Recently I have been in a little "tiff" with some friends of mine. Ya know, we have all been there. This person said this, and that person said that. But no one actually heard them say it...lol. Well I have been praying that it would be resolved and tonight I got a phone call that I think did resolve it!
The thing that we all need to remember is that we are friends. More importantly than friends, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. And when we treat eachother badly, we are treating a child of God badly. And he does not like that. I dont think God answers the prayers of, and/or takes care of people being mean to His children. Sometimes we have to stop and just THINK. I mean really THINK. Not about what the person has done to you or what the person might have said, but what we can do to fix the problem instead of creating another one.

Proverbs 16:28...17:9,17...18:24
If you are having problems with any of your friends, please read these verses, they may help.

Happy Easter!!!!!

We had a WONDERFUL day with our church family this Easter Sunday. At first, with as many people as there are sick right now, I didn't think that there were going to be too many people at church. But Sunday morning we were packed!!!! Lots of visitors came back and even some families in town were there.

But then in the afternoon, I am assuming that most people had family waiting for an Easter lunch because almost everyone disappeared. We had about 5 or 6 families stick around for lunch. I am so glad that the Lord is blessing our church with the growth that we have experienced lately, but sometimes it is also nice to get together with just a few people and have a nice fellowship. Everyone had a great time and there was just a really nice and sweet spirit in the air. We didn't get started on our second service right away because we were having a missionary coming in. The Hooper Family from Germany came and spent a couple of hours with us. They have 14 children..all ages!!!! It was really a blessing listening to his testimony. He shared everything with us. The part that really touched me was talking about their daughter Ruth who had leukemia. And something that REALLY encouraged me was the fact that they thought Mrs. Hooper could not have children and the first few years they were married they were not able to. And for God to allow a women told by doctors she was barren to have 14 children gives me alot of hope.

Well, the Blackman girls looked cute as always, and they decided that David, my husband, needed to have a little more decoration. So they took turns putting their hates on him. In the picture Courtney is putting hers on and at the same time, Hannah is yelling, " You look like a sissy!!!" ROFL...It was hilarious!!!! Then we ended the day making cards and taking a midnight run to Sonic with Jodi, Katie, and Kate. I'm so glad that I was able to come to church that day. In the morning I wasn't feeling well and God gave me the strength to go anyways. I am so blessed to have the most wonderful church family anyone could ask for. I couldn't have had a better holiday. Unless my mom was there of course!!!!lol

Why...oh...why?

There are alot of things in life that we can can say...Why, oh why?. And if you are like me, then you are usually asking this question to the Lord. But the thing that I have trouble remembering is that he will answer me in HIS time, not my own. Is His time tomorrow? Or is it next year? Or is it in 10 years? I do not know.
I get so discouraged sometimes when I cant get out of bed because all I want to be able to do is walk to the post office, or up the road. And I cant. I know alot of people think that I'm not actually sick and that I just don't want to work or come to church. And they think just because I don't have children and a full time job that I don't have anything to do all day. That is not the case. That's why I am in bed so much, because I try to do too much. With my husband working 2 jobs, he doesn't have time to help me with anything and I feel too guilty to ask for his help on his day off. But he does anyways. :)
I pray everyday that I would be approved for disability not only to help out with the bills, but so I could get insurance to have my surgery. Without this surgery I can not have children. I try not to be angry that I don't have children, but when I go to church and see everyone with their babies and people get together because they have things in common that I don't have in common with anyone, it hurts.
I am just tired of being sick and tired and having to explain myself. People are going to think exactly what they want to think. My husband tries to tell me this isn't so, but I know that people think that I am just fat and don't want to work. They don't know why I HAVE TO wear the same thing every week to church. They don't understand why I HAVE TO sit in the back and leave during almost every service. They don't understand because they don't want to understand and that's something that is on my mind everyday.
I am trying to rely on the Lord through all of this but it is hard. The flesh is trying to tell me that no one cares...including the Lord. But I know that is not true. There is a solution, I just have to listen better to Him. Thanks for listening anyone who took the time to read this....sorry if I discouraged anyone with my pity party

Slurpie Gone Wrong!!!!

Okay...as most of you know, I am NOT a morning person. I get up early only when the occasion calls for it. In this case, the occasion is Sunday mornings. Because Dave works on Sundays now, it is either bug someone for a ride, which I don't like to do, or have him drop me off at the church at about 7 to 730 am. Now for those people who don't know about our church we are there until at least 330 pm sometimes longer. So that's a pretty long day for everyone.
Well we have been doing this for awhile now so we have a pretty good routine down. I get everything ready on Saturday night that way all we have to do is get dressed and a few other things in the morning. Then we either grab something at McDonald's, or recently we have switched over to Dunkin Donuts, for breakfast. Then we go over the 7-11 to get my morning pick me up. For most people it would be coffee, but for me it is a Slurpee! Well everything was going according to plan and we arrived at the church. I got out and tried to carry too many things at once and the worst possible thing happened. My Slurpee slipped out of my arm and fell onto the ground!!! Usually it would be salvageable, but the cup itself had cracked into about 4 different pieces. Right then a black cloud formed over my head. (alright, go ahead and laugh if you aren't already)
I know it seems pretty silly to be in a bad mood over a spilt drink but that is our human nature. Of course later on I did realize how silly it did seem. Right when this happened, Pastor, Katie, Lisa, and other Katie arrived at church. And poor Katie Mathena tried to say hello to me....POOR KATIE. ROFL (which by the way sorry Katie) If looks could kill the poor girl probably would be in a coffin right now!!!! So I went inside and sat down and ate my sandwich and kept to myself while the other girls sat in the other room giggling and having fun.
Well eventually Katie came and got me and I did join them. Then Katie took us for a "joy" ride on and errand for Pastor. But I have to say...whoever came up with the term "joy ride" has obviously NEVER ridden with a beginner driver...ROFL. I am just kidding...for anyone who is wondering, Katie is a really good driver. Better than what I could say I was like when I got my DL. I failed the test 3 times and then got in my first accident 2 weeks in. There is a lesson from that sentence. STUDY FOR TESTS...AND USE...YOUR...MIRRORS!!!!
Anyways, back to the story...actually, the story is kind of done. The girls cheered me up and we went back to church and had a nice day. Guess that's what good friends are for!

Anger Management

Have you ever been in a situation where you got so angry that something just came flying out of your mouth before you even realized it? I think we all have. This subject of anger is something that I have personally be struggling with for quite some time now and recently listened to a message by Bro. Anthony Fusco on anger. It talks about the source, the results, and dealing with anger.
Just like any other problem we have, whether it is drugs and alcohol, promiscuity, idolatry, etc., it is hard to admit the problem in the first place. This was not in his sermon but I really do believe that you can't solve a problem if you don't admit that there is one. Pride can be a horrible thing. It is actually one of the sources of anger and if we are not careful, it will eat us alive.
Ephesians 4:26
" Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."

Now I know after I get angry, I feel like I am the worst person on Earth. And I ask my self what's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? Well the answer is something that you always need to remember. Anger is something that happens to everyone. It is absolutely normal to get angry. In fact, if you don't get angry, there is probably something wrong with you! LOL The key to it is CONTROLLING the anger. There are many sources that can be the start of anger:
1. Pride...we already talked a little bit about that
2. Contempt... someone disrespecting you
3. Abuse...there are many forms of abuse...in my opinion they are all just as bad...they all leave scars whether inside or out.
4. Frustration...this could mean finances or bills among other things
5. Feeling Hurt...it stats with being hurt and sad and can quickly turn into anger
6. Rejection... same as hurt...first you are hurt and sad...then angry

There are many examples of this in the Bible. I am not going to go over all of them, but I would suggest getting ahold of this cd from Bro. Fusco. If you do not know him, and you know me, I can let you borrow it. The results from anger can be horrible. No one likes an angry person. You rub people the wrong way and eventually you will lose your friends. They might put up with it for a short time because they love you and care about you, but eventually they will get tired of it and leave.
Proverbs 15:18
" A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife."
Ecclesiates 7:9
" Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

If you are not careful, anger will settle into your heart and it will stay there. In the sermon, he says that the best thing to do is, that when you feel yourself about to get angry, do something to keep yourself from reacting. The more time in between the time something happened and the time you actually react, the less likely you are to be angry and say or do something that you shouldnt. Not only will we lose our friends, but anger will lead to other sins. We are already sinning by letting anger get the best of us, why add more to the pile?
The best way to deal with anger is to find a Biblical way around it. The WRONG attitude to have is that old horrible saying...." Dont get mad, get even". When you try to get even with someone, they eventually are going to try to get even with you. Then something that stated out as just a small little arguement, is now a huge giant thing that can really hurt someone. Since I have been studying this, I have tried to make Proverbs 15:1 a life verse for myself.
Proverbs 15:1
" A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grevious words stir up anger."
Ephesians 4: 26, 31-32
" Be ye angry and sin ot; let not the sun go down upon your wrath... Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.... And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Anger is not something that we can let fester inside of us for too long. Don't wait to get it taken care of. Settle the matter right away! And be something through a great relationship with Christ. When you show kindness to others, the Lord will begin a great work in your heart and you will have not just a great relationship with your family and friends, but an even greater relationship with Christ.

LET IT GO AND FORGIVE!!!

All right...here I go!!!! I am not quite sure what I am doing or why I am doing it, but I thought I might try a blog out for awhile. Either it is going to quite boring and not only will no one read it, but I will stop writing in it; or it is going to cause trouble. Hopefully I am completely wrong and I will be able to write something inspiring that younger women can learn from. I think that is my goal here. I thought and thought and thought about not just why I should start a blog...but if I should. And I figured out that with all the things that I have been through in my life and all the things that I have learned, there has to be SOMEONE in the world going through the exact some problems and looking for an answer. Maybe I have the answer and maybe I dont. All I know is that God has not told me what His will is for my life yet. Sometimes I am very impatient about it and I know that is NOT the answer. The answer is to wait and listen. And in the mean time, I am just trying to serve the Lord in any way I can.

My health does limit me to some things that I can do, but I try to be as active in the church as possible. I am a helper in Sunday School with one of my best friends Katie as the teacher. I would'nt change classes for anything. I love all of the kids very much. But some of them will be going into the next class this coming school year and I will miss them very much. I try to keep the church clean but its hard alot of times to do. When I am not able to my husband David tries to take of it for me. Then anything else that I can help with I try to do my best with.

The thing that is real heavy on my heart right now is my mother. Tomorrow (April 3rd) she is having a very serious surgery. They will be cutting open the back of her neck and working on her spine. We are miles and miles apart from eachother and I fell helpless sometimes ...no...worthless because I am not there for her. You will hear me talk about her more than once, but the amount of pain and suffering I have put my mother through and she just stuck by my side the whole time. She has never once thought of herself...only me. I love her very much and miss her terribly. That is all for now...one my mom is through her surgery I will be able to think better and I hope that you enjoy what you read.